Old Notes

'94

Parkways in Florida

The time is long overdue for Florida to adopt New York's Robert Moses' vision of a parkway system in metropolitan areas. The current traffic jams and truck accidents in Broward on I-95 due to construction dramatize this. A good start while a network of parkways is under construction in south Florida and other densely populated areas in the state would be to limit the Turnpike to cars only from 6 AM to 7 PM, along with a drastic reduction in toll fees—especially for commuters—and full car-pools free. I-95 would be in the main for trucks; short-run car commuters and travelers should use the right lane only during the same hours. The magnificent Sawgrass Expressway should also sharply cut its tolls and deny truck access during the same hours. If feasible, it would seem that Sawgrass would be the starting point for the parkway system to continue northward near the point it runs into the Turnpike and southward to serve as a by-pass to Miami as it would be impossible to extend the Turnpike at the north Miami point where it merges into I-95.

The fairest way to finance this proposed project is to tack on a few bucks to the license tags and to tax auto insurance companies [not to be passed on to the consumer] which in the long run will benefit by a safer parkway system that is truck-free. It is important that the state and counties involved not be user-hungry when it comes to those who have to drive to work: they should be exempt from tolls or at least issued significantly cost reduction passbooks.

'89

Resolutions

Most people make their solemn New Year's resolutions on the first day of the year. Millions make a most important one in common as soon as they lift their puffy head from the pillow, resolving never to touch another drink.

Tobacco companies hold their corporate heads after the first week in January worrying whether—once the Christmas cartons are smoked—the sales of individual packs will resume at the tobacco counters to support the customary volatile bravado of the cigarette smoker who had announced that once his cartons were gone that would be the end of his habit.

Enrollment at health salons and weight-watching franchises are up in January but soon the charts go into their customary sag by Washington's birthday: the bakery counters are mobbed once again, the doors battered down at Friendly's, and hungry crowds pass under the golden arch. By mid January the supermarkets are again busy filling the shelves with assorted candies and air- puffed bags of salted munchies.

Bar owners head for Florida to enjoy the month of January, knowing the faithful will be back holding up their bars come February. Even the druggies give it a whirl for a time living off the holiday high, but soon the pushers are smiling again as their customers' nostrils are once again active. The cyclists and joggers who vowed not to transport their flab to work by car are back at the gas station when the first snow falls or they hear on radio that the wind-chill-factor is zero.

Kids are wonderful on New Year's. They too join in harmless hypocrisy. Teachers are flabbergasted by the marvelous attendance the first couple of weeks in January. Parents are amazed that their children actually bring home work and watch less TV. The garbage is out on the street without the father ever having to ask his son to take it out. The bed is made before school; the tangled cord is pulled out of the wall outlet and the hair blower put back in its case. Family consideration is exhibited by fewer minutes in the shower. The shower is wiped dry, the toothpaste squeezed from the bottom and the cap replaced. Laundry is stuffed in the hamper— the white sox showing no signs of being walked on out to the backyard.

Then just as suddenly the energy goes undercover and the mother is left denuding the tree and putting the decorations away. A macheté is needed to get into the kid's bedrooms. The white sox are showing signs of winter's backyard debris. The garbage pick up days are missed. The toothpaste once again snakes its way across the vanity top.

To avoid the pain, I, on the other hand, make my resolutions on the first day of February and break them on the second—scarcely anyone notices or cares. Sometimes I depart from this norm, and in February announce to the family that had I made resolutions on New Year's Day, they would have been....