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Dateline White House 09/04/01

Exceptions to Good Will toward Men

Take your pick on whom to blame — Palm Beach County, Elian, Gore himself for losing Tennessee, the Supreme Court, Clinton, Monica, Nader....I think big Al should move in with Hillary and run for the gubernatorial slot — Bill can be the lieutenant — fixing him up with raunchy women to relax him in dubious ways. The pundits — as if they had character — that made the race a personality contest is laughable — like comparing Goofy to Dopey.

I wonder if Bush can spell potato?...When he was at Yale there was a charter school just for him.... The pundits claim he looks like a deer caught in the headlights...under pressure of office will he take to drink and look like Rudolph?...How is it old George doesn’t call his son’s economic “plan” Voodoo Economics?...What with the gun-toting, red-neck swath of electoral votes from the panhandle to Montana loyal to the Shrub, Charlton Heston should be the secretary of [defense?]civil war....He will advise the new president to persuade the Republican governors that hereafter execution shall be by close-range shotgun fire. Moreover, he will daringly hold up his rifle to intimidate gun-law legislators....It is rumored that Clinton will be W’s speech writer to spice up the dribble....Albright will stay on as W’s tour guide and English interpreter when he goes abroad and during flights conduct elocution exercises on names of foreign dignitaries....Colin Powell will be sent out of the country most of the time so as not to bug the Shrub with silly affirmative action lectures....W will go down in history as the Adult Education president who had to spend the evenings in special ed. classes....Is it possible that W really believes he can cross party lines because New York and California democrats are no different from Texas democrats?

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